Please book me and my buddies a double double at the Sheraton!

It costs $27 per day to house research monkeys at Stanford. So if you have several monkeys, it can add up fast. I get a corporate rate of $180 per night at the Sheraton, which equals approximately seven monkeys in small un-luxurious cages at Stanford. You could get way more than seven monkeys in a king size bed at the Sheraton, and they’d be a lot more comfortable, even if it was a tad crowded. In fact, housing monkeys at the Sheraton sounds like a research project in and of itself (what would they watch on HBO?). But in order to make it work, we’d need one piece of missing information. Is there a surcharge for more than two monkeys in a room?

Rabbits are only $15 per day at Stanford, so you could get even more bang for your buck at the Sheraton with rabbits. But that’s the problem. You start out with 12 rabbits, and you end up with 364. That’s a lot of rabbits, even for the Sheraton.